Broken Little Angel
by cupcakefacee18
Summary: Bella has always been the bad girl. When something terrible happens to her she begins to do things no one understands. It seems this girl will never get her happily ever after...that is until Edward comes along.
1. Break It Up!

_"Bella!" The voice yelled, fear in its voice. I looked around the dark room terrified of what I might find. My body grew warmer and my eyes began to water. There was nothing, just an empty black room. Suddenly I stopped. I knew I wasn't alone, I could hear the faint footsteps from the corner. I turned and turned looking for something, anything. I froze when I saw a pair of golden eyes staring at me through the darkness. I held my breath ready to scream as it slowly crept closer._

"Bella!" My head darted up at the sound of Mr. Reeler's voice. I looked around and realized that I had fallen asleep in math.

"Are you okay Bella?" He was now standing beside my desk crouched down. I nodded my head in response.

"Yeah. I haven't been feeling well that's all," He patted my shoulder and walked back to the front of the room. I propped my right elbow up on my desk and placed my head in my hand. This nightmare seemed to get worse every night. The strange thing was that no matter how frightened I was I could never build up the urge to scream. It was as if I wasn't expecting anything to happen.

The bell rang and I snapped out of my daze. I quickly packed my things up and moved silently towards the back door, not wanting to attract attention from Mr. Reeler. I knew he would have something to say and many questions to ask. Questions I had no desire to answer.

I walked towards my truck avoiding eye contact with everyone. All I wanted was to leave, to get away.

"Why in such a hurry Bella?" I stopped and groaned recognizing that terribly annoying voice. I turned to my left, now facing Gretchen Berkeley. She was such a bitch and to tell you the truth I really believed all those rumors about her being a whore as well.

"What do you want to waste my time with today Gretchen?" I asked frustrated. Gretchen smiled her devilish grin and stepped closer.

"I just wanted to know if you were going to ask Jason out?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, he's all yours," I simply replied and began walking towards my truck again.

"Oh, so he's not interested?" She continued. I gave up; this wasn't going to end until she was satisfied.

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Because I know the answer already, he is interested in you. I'm just making sure you get to stay the hell away from him," I almost laughed. She was actually going to attempt at threatening me.

"And if I don't?" I egged on. I was tempted to start something. She stepped even closer and put her head next to mine.

"I'll kill you," She whispered. A smile stretched across my face. She looked at me confused and almost angry.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked curiously. I shook my head.

"You are so pathetic sometimes," I turned around ready to walk away until I felt a hand tangle itself in my long dark mahogany hair. I quickly reacted. My fist clenched and met Gretchen's face in less then 3 seconds. I was soon on top of her, continuing the punching while her arms flailed at me.

"Break it up!" I heard as someone's arms were placed under me and I was pulled off of Gretchen who was still kicking and screaming.

"Don't you ever attack me again!" I looked up at who had my arms and there I knew I was in trouble, for the look on the Chief Berkeley's face was angry and most definitely unhappy.


	2. Home School

I sat in the principal's office silently, afraid of making the situation anymore tense then it already was. Gretchen sat across the office glaring back at me holding an ice pack to her face.

"You shouldn't have attacked me like that," She said removing the ice pack exposing a huge black and purple bruise the size of my fist. I snorted a little but held my laugh back.

"You attacked me, remember?" I argued. She looked away quickly as the door opened and Ms. Mac, Chief Swan and my dad walked in. My dad passed me an icy, irritated glare. This wasn't the first time he'd been in the office for me fighting.

"Well Mr. Swan, I hate to say it but Bella is just becoming too much of a risk here," Ms. Mac said as she sat behind her too large oak desk. My dad took a seat in the chair by Chief Swan.

"I'm sorry. Bella can overreact to a lot of things," He replied still glaring at me. I rolled my eyes. Of course it was going to be like this. Him apologizing for my actions that weren't even my fault. This whole mess wasn't even my fault it was Gretchen's.

"Yes, well I've dealt with this far too many times. I can suggest expulsion or simply home schooling, but there is not much more I can do for her," I glanced over at my dad who had his head down. I could see the disappointment in his eyes just as well the anger.

"I guess home schooling is the only choice I have," He answered quietly. Ms. Mac nodded and picked up her phone.

"You can take her home now, those arrangements will be made," Immediately my dad stood up and stalked out. I sighed and slowly followed, afraid of what awaited me in the car.

I slipped into the passenger seat and stared at my father who had his head on the wheel. He lifted his head and started the car.

"Are you happy Bella? You know I really can't home school you, what am I supposed to do?" He took off towards the highway. I turned towards the window and kept my eyes outside. What had I done? My dad was working double shifts to keep a roof over my head and food on the table but I had to do what I could to screw that up.

"I can take courses at the community college half time and work part time," I suggested.

"No, you're not working. You're only 16. It's your time," I looked down at my hands. I was so ashamed then.

"Why Bella?" He asked me. I couldn't face to look at him.

"Why are you messing this all up?" He pressed on. I shook my head.

"What?" He asked.

"Why do you always make it sound like I'm some messed up child? I made a mistake, we all have," I answered, anger beginning to boil up.

"You brought this on yourself Bella, you fought and now look what is happening,"

"Stop the car," I almost yelled.

"No," He replied sternly.

"Stop the damn car!" I screamed this time. He quickly swerved to the side and before I realized what I was doing I was already walking towards the woods. My dad had already driven off. Great. Now I was alone, in the woods, without a way home.


	3. Death Was Better

I looked down the road one last time to see if my dad had changed his mind. There was no sign of him. I sighed and turned back towards the woods. It was getting dark and the air was very cool. I trudged through the trees and bushes occasionally tripping over a few rocks and stems. It seemed like an hour had already gone by but I was still not even half way through the woods. My breathing got harder as I went deeper into the trees. All was silent except the few birds hiding away in the canopy. I kept walking at a slow pace, in no hurry to get home. I stopped short when I heard a rustling sound from the bushes behind me. I heard a faint sound of a twig snapping and I turned sharp on my heels facing the noise. There was nothing. I backed up a little before turning back towards my destination. Another twig snapped.

"Hello?" I asked faintly. No response. My heart was beating three times faster and my breathing was now hard. I could feel my body shaking. What a stupid choice to make going in the woods alone. I quickly picked up my feet and walked as fast as I could along the pathway. Death was not on my list of priorities right now. Suddenly I could hear footsteps growing louder behind me. I began to run, smacking bushes and ducking under tree branches. I had a good pace going; I could see the other side of the highway now. A hand grasped my arm and pulled violently. I soon found myself rolling down a hill through the almost dry mud and dead leaves. I stopped as soon as I hit a tree at the bottom. I flipped over on my back only to come face to face with a man. His eyes were wide with desire. I opened my mouth to scream but his dirt covered hand landed over it.

"Now don't fuss," He whispered as he stroked my face. I lifted my fist to punch him but my attempt failed as he quickly grabbed it and held it down.

"A little feisty aren't we," I closed my eyes as the tears began to form. I knew what was about to happen, it was only obvious. And death seemed pleasant compared to this.


	4. Aftermath

It was worse than any nightmare I had ever had. My innocence was nothing now. I limped down the quiet highway, the blood spots on my jeans were rubbing against my leg and the cold air was slicing my pale skin through the rips in my shirt. The tears were pouring down my face. I traced the cut on my bottom lip, the blood tasted salty but in a strange way good. I walked up the driveway to the house, the lights were off and the car was gone. Maybe he had realized I should have been home two hours ago. I made my way up the stairs to the front porch and opened the door. I shuffled up to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. The dead leaves and mud had knotted themselves in my hair. Dirt covered my face and arms. The tears had made my eyeliner smear across my face.

The hot water felt nice against my bruised skin. I took as long as I could, washing every inch of my body. I felt disgusting. When I was done I walked across the hall to my room and locked the door. There was no way I would face my dad tonight. I slipped the covers over my head and laid there for what seemed like forever. The wind was picking up now and the tree branches outside my window were tapping against the glass. I sat up and stared at the wall. My life had been ripped apart in just one hour. My innocence wasted. My body used for someone's own pleasure.

"Bella?" My dad's voice echoed through the door. I didn't move, I couldn't even find my voice.

"Bella are you alright? Look I didn't mean to say those things earlier. Will you please open the door?" I put my head down. Would looking at my own father make things even more difficult? Would I be able to look at any guy without thinking they're all the same?

"Go away!" I yelled. I tried to sound angry. Between the tears and the stuttering I doubt that was possible.

"Bella please?" He asked again. I picked up a book I had sitting on the nightstand beside my bed and threw it at the door.

"I said go away! I don't want to talk to you!" I waited a few minutes before tiptoeing over to the door, unlocking it and cracking it open just enough to see if he had gone away. The hallway light was off and his bedroom door was closed. I locked my door again and lay back down. What was I supposed to do? Everything hurt and how would I be able to hide this from everyone? I closed my eyes and as the crying continued, I slowly fell asleep.


	5. Edward

I woke up, my head pounding and my body still aching. My eyes burned from the crying I had done the night before and my lip had swelled. I rolled over on my other side and closed my eyes again. I would do anything to just lay in bed all day without having to worry about anything. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Bella honey, are you awake?" My dad had certainly calmed down. I remained silent.

"I made breakfast, Jacob and Billy are coming over this morning because of the game," Great. Two more people to keep this hidden from, just what I needed. What would my excuse even be? I tripped and fell? That was just lame, even for me.

"I'm not hungry and I don't feel so well so I'm just going to stay in bed today," I managed to reply. My doorknob began twisting.

"Are you okay? Can I come in?"

"No. I'm fine. Just leave me alone," My tone was pretty rude. I covered myself up again and closed my eyes, hoping to fall asleep again. No use at all. I tossed and turned for four hours, the man's face running through my mind. I wanted it to just go away. For the pain to just disappear would be like heaven.

"Bella? It's Jacob. Your dad told me you were up here," I groaned. Jacob obviously heard it.

"Sorry. I'll just go away," He sounded sad. I immediately stood up and unlocked the door.

'Whoa! What happened to you?" He shouted. I pulled him in and slammed the door shut. I placed my finger over my mouth and gestured for him to be quiet.

"I fell and I got hurt. I don't my dad to worry about it so be quiet," Jacob nodded his head and looked around my room, studying everything.

"Nice room," He said. I didn't answer, only sat on my bed and wasted away even more. The sun was barley showing but it continued to light my room. I couldn't look Jacob in the face the entire time. I was scared, scared of seeing _him._

"Jacob, could you leave? I mean it's nice seeing you but I would really like to sleep," Jacob stared at me for a minute before waving goodbye and walking out. I hated not being able to look at him. He was a sweet boy and I know he would never even think of doing something like that. It was just too hard. Maybe getting out of the house for a while would help. I washed my lip a little, wiping away the dry blood and slipped into a pair of jeans, a white shirt and my Forks High sweatshirt. I dashed down the stairs trying to avoid any conversation with my dad. I managed to make it to my truck before he came out of the kitchen.

It was very cold today. Almost felt icy. I drove down the highway as fast as I could. I always had an interest in fast cars but the fastest you could drive in this old thing was 55 mph. I slowed as I reached the little bookstore off the side of the highway. It seemed quiet and not many people were there. Perfect, I didn't want a big crowd anyways. I locked the door and walked in. I shivered a little. It was colder inside then it was outside. I walked down the isles browsing through the books. I was planning on spending most of my time here today so I might as well find a good book. While walking down one isle I felt a sudden chill. It was as if someone was watching me. I turned around and in the far corner was a guy. He was extremely white, his eyes black and a blank expression on his face. I did see the frown etching across his lips though. I turned back. He was a little frightening but at the same time not frightening at all.  
"Bella!" Mike appeared next to me.

"Where have you been lately? You haven't been coming to the bon fires and we have even more alcohol left because you aren't there," I rolled my eyes. Mike just loved when I was drinking. He always had this idea in his head that I was some sort of flirt when I was drinking.

"Sorry. I've been a little tied up," I stated. He looked down for a second.

"Think you'll be coming to the beach with us anytime soon?"

"No," I quickly responded. There was no way I was going to be around a bunch of drunk, idiotic guys who I didn't trust.

"Oh. Well then I guess I'll see you around," He sadly said as he walked away looking a bit gloomy. I was tired of looking for a book so I grabbed a random one and turned around to walk to a table but I walked right into a hard figure. I looked up and realized it was the guy that was watching me earlier. He smiled softly.

"I'm Edward," He introduced himself and held out his hand. I was suddenly frozen in my place.


	6. Love?

I was so intrigued by Edward's cold black eyes. It was as if he was hypnotizing me. I shook myself out of my trance and shook his hand. He was colder then any human I had ever touched.

"Bella," I replied, still staring into his eyes.

"Cute name," He complimented. I smiled a little. My cheeks turned a faint tint of red.

"Thanks," I said shyly. I sat down at the table and waited as he sat down across from me.

"So Bella. You seem very interesting to me. Most girls want to go party and fit in with the guys, but you have no interest in that," How did he know this? He was nowhere around during Mike's little conversation. I ignored that fact.

"Well I really wouldn't mind less attention," Edward lifted one eyebrow.

"Really? So you probably don't want me here then huh?" He scooted his seat back but I quickly placed my hand over his to stop him. He looked down at my hand and smiled.

"Stay," I said. I removed my hand quickly realizing how cold his was. It felt nice to me.

"My pleasure. I would love to," He sat back down and crossed his arms, still staring at me.

"So tell me something, aren't you freaked out by how cold I am?" He questioned.

"No. It feels nice," He looked puzzled.

"You are a strange girl aren't you?" He asked curiously. I blushed again.

"I like it," He added. I smiled at him. He seemed very different from everyone. There was something about him that had me confused but at the same time I could read him like a book. His smile dazzled me while his eyes kept me in a trance. When I touched his cold white skin, it was like a shock of electricity ran coursed through my body. He was so handsome and his voice flattered me.

"You're new I'm guessing?" I asked him trying to get a good conversation going. I only wanted to talk to him, and only him.

"Yeah. My family just moved here. We like it in the cold and the secluded area," He glanced behind him over to a near by table. A girl with short black hair sat, focused in a book.

"That's my sister Alice," He stated. I smiled.

"She's very pretty," I said. He looked back at me.

"Well I better get going. I'll see you around okay?" I nodded my head eagerly in agreement. I wouldn't mind seeing him every second of my life. I watched him walk out the door with his sister. That whole entire time I was talking to him made me feel safe and comfortable. That's when I realized, when he walked away the feeling of innocence was lost again and the feeling of ripping in my heart came back. Maybe he was the one I needed. Maybe, possibly, it could be love.


	7. Breakdown

On the way home I couldn't get my mind off of Edward. He was so mysterious and the weird thing about it was his timing. Who would have guessed that this guy who I was already falling for would show up right when I need someone to stop me from falling apart and doing something I would regret. I had run a million scenarios through my head about how to get rid of this ripping feeling in my heart but none had anything to do with a friend or…a boyfriend. What was I thinking? Boyfriend? Yeah right, a guy like him getting with a girl like me, only in my dreams. That was the worst part; I don't think I would be able to dream of anything happy ever again. My hands tightened around the steering wheel. This was a moment I could lose complete control of the car on "accident" and possibly, hopefully finish it all. No. I couldn't do that now. Not yet. Not until I was positive it was the only way out. I pulled into the driveway and dashed up to my room. Avoiding Charlie would get harder in time. I pulled off my damp sweatshirt and threw it on the ground. I stared at my bruised arms in the mirror. What a mess. This was not the way my life was supposed to go. No ones life was supposed to go this way. Anger, frustration, hurt, every emotion there was possible was building up inside me. Just looking at myself was repulsive! Before I knew what I was thinking my fist met with the mirror and glass shattered everywhere. I looked down at my hand, blood rushing down my arm. Charlie ran in looking very flustered.

"Oh my god Bella!" He ran over and grabbed my hand. I jumped back from the pain.

"I'm fine!" I shouted angrily, tears pouring down my face. I shoved him back out the door.

"Get out! Leave me alone!" I slammed the door in his face and slid down the wall holding my hand as I did. So many thoughts rushed through my mind. Suicide became an option, hurting myself did as well. How crazy was this making me? Was I really considering these options? I tried to take deep breaths, to calm myself down. My eyes flashed with interest. I knew what exactly I could do and where I could do it. And I was planning to…tonight.


	8. Suicide Attempts, Kisses & True Love

I was so tired that night. I hadn't been able to sleep the least bit. I was too caught up in thinking about my sudden planned departure of this world later. The whole house was pitch black, the sign I had been waiting for. I slipped on my shoes and threw on my jacket, tiptoeing down the stairs. Charlie was a heavy sleeper so a few creaks in the boards never woke him up. I decided not to leave him a note explaining everything. I'd rather not have him franticly out looking for his dead daughter. My truck keys clunked together as I walked fast to the truck without looking back. How crazy was I becoming? Well planning my suicide at three in the morning seemed pretty crazy to me. But no one knew why I was doing it. I couldn't tell anyone. It was a secret that I would take to the grave. Too bad I would be in a grave a little sooner then I had hoped for. It took about fifteen minutes before I stopped in front of the woods. I sat in the truck for a few minuets trying to think of an alternative to this plan. I shook my head. There was no other way. I got out of the truck and pulled the flashlight out from underneath the seat. I walked down to the trail and started my hike up to Old Bear's Creek, or well, my deathbed. It was creepy walking alone in the dark, but what the hell; it wasn't like there was anything bad that could happen that hadn't already happened. I ducked under a few tree branches and stepped over a few rocks. It had been almost a mile before I heard the quiet flow of the water in the creek. I stopped and stood at the edge of the trail. The water seemed a bit more violent then usual. Perfect for a drowning incident. A tear rolled down my cheek and I wanted so desperately to wipe it away but for some reason couldn't. My whole body felt numb. What was I doing? How low was I going to stoop to forget everything?

"Bella?" I jumped and turned sharply, forgetting I was standing on the edge. My foot slipped on the slope leading down to the creek and I suddenly lost my balance. I began tumbling down the hill until I rolled straight into the ice cold water. I was traumatized by how cold the water felt against my skin. I moved my arms around franticly and kicked my legs trying to reach for the surface. I felt something hard grip my leg and then fear entered my mind. I wasn't ready to die. My arms were getting tired and as I tried to free myself, I was losing consciousness. I slowly gave up with my arms and closed my eyes, dreaming of Charlie, my friends…Edward. Something began pulling on my arm and I felt my foot become free. I opened my eyes and I came face to face under the icy cold water with Edward Cullen. He kept pulling me until we were finally on top of the surface. He paddled us over to the edge of the creek and lifted me up to the dry ground. I lay down flat and closed my eyes again, gasping for air. Edward pulled himself out of the water after and crawled over to sit next to me.

"Well that was fun," He said sarcasticly. I took one more deep breath and sat up to stare at him.

"What are you doing here!"? I shouted. He looked taken aback.

"You just almost drowned and you're yelling at me?" He asked confused and surprised,

"Well I was trying to drown!" I pushed myself up and began climbing the hill. Edward followed. I picked up my flashlight as I reached the top and began walking back towards the truck. Edward's hand quickly grasped my arm. He pulled me back.

"What do you mean you were trying?" He asked looking somewhat scared. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh don't you know what suicide is?" I questioned angrily. The thing was I wasn't really angry; I just didn't want to trust him. I didn't want to trust any guy. He released my arm.

"Suicide? You were trying to kill yourself? Why?" So many questions and I couldn't answer any of them.

"Never mind. What were you doing out here?" I switched lanes and tried to change the subject.

"I come out here to think, it's very peaceful when people aren't trying to kill themselves," He responded, now sounding annoyed. I crossed my arms and glared up at him. He was so handsome. How could I even try and act angry with him?

"Now would you like to explain to me why you were trying to kill yourself without the attitude?" He was trying so hard to read me, I could tell.

"Don't worry about it,"

"I will worry about it! I came here looking for a fresh start and I find an absolutely beautiful, amazing girl and it turns out she's suicidal!" I couldn't find the words to respond. He said I was beautiful and amazing. He looked puzzled and concerned. I shook my head.

"Look, I can't tell you, but I can promise I won't try to kill myself again," His body relaxed a little.

"Fine, but I will get you to tell me eventually," He took my hand and his fingers entwined with mine and he pulled me up the trail back towards the truck. His hand was freezing but for some odd reason it felt great. He was actually holding my hand and he was acting as if he cared. That was the part that worried me; maybe it was just an act. We walked in silence until we were finally back at the truck. He released my hand and opened the door for me.

"Slide in," He ordered. I squinted my eyes curiously but did as I was told. He climbed in after me and started the truck immediately.

"What are you doing?" I asked him. He pulled out onto the road and began driving towards my house.

"I'm taking you home, you don't actually think I'm going to trust you to drive yourself home after that?" His face looked tense. I hugged myself as I began to shiver. Edward noticed and handed me his black jacket.

"Thanks," I said quietly. It was warm and felt nice. It also smelt sweet just like him. We soon pulled in front of my house and I waited for a second before getting out. He got out as well and walked around to where I was standing. I took off the jacket and handed it back. We stood in silence for a few awkward moments.

"Well goodnight," I said beginning to walk towards the house. Edward suddenly grabbed my arm, swung me around and before I knew it he was kissing me passionately. His lips were cold and smooth but they made me feel so alive. He stepped away and I swayed back and forth. All the feeling in my body was gone.

"Goodnight Bella. Sweet dreams," He smiled and began walking towards the road. I stood outside for what seemed like hours before breaking out of my trance and walking back into the house. I thought it was all an act in the beginning, but now I was finally seeing that Edward Cullen was, could be, possibly…my true love.


	9. Burns

Okay so I know that this chapter does have a little weird thing about it, with the unusual technique that Bella uses but I just wanted to try something different. So yeah.

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That night I laid in my bed staring blankly out the window at the moon, thoughts of the kiss running through my mind. Why had Edward kissed me so? I mean yes I loved every second of it, the rush, the feeling I got; like I was floating on thin air. But why had this most gorgeous, amazing, perfect guy kissing me? I don't even remember exchanging words of liking each other or professing any type of infatuation. There was just something about the way he kissed me that had me thinking; Edward didn't just want to be friends. I rolled on my side and closed my eyes. Bad idea. Every time I closed my eyes to sleep just a little, _He _flooded my thoughts. The touching, the violent kissing; the words he whispered in my ear as he did those terrible things to me. I was living in a terrible nightmare that would never go away, no matter how hard I tried to erase the memory. I felt my heart beating faster and my breathing began to increase immensely. It felt like a heart attack, only it wasn't. It was me being a scared little girl; a girl reliving a memory over and over again. I had to do something. I got up and quietly walked over to my closet and kneeled down. I opened one of my old boxes that I had yet to un pack. I searched through it, pushing old cards to the side and throwing little trinkets out, making more room for my hand to reach down. Soon I felt the small cold handle slip into my hand. I pulled out the old green lighter my grandpa had given to me right before he died. I never understood why he gave it to me but right now I was grateful.

"It's time for you to go away," I whispered to the grungy man that remained engraved in my mind. I rolled my sleeve up and rubbed my arm slowly. This wasn't like me, to do something so stupid. I lit the lighter and placed it next to my arm. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and turned my head away before placing the flame right against my pale skin. I bit my tongue to hold back the screaming. My arm was hot and I could feel it blistering. I let go of the lighter and let it fall to my knees. I slowly opened my eyes and peered down at the red blistering mark that was now on my arm. Tears began to form but for some odd reason I felt relieved. The memory had gone away. Now all there was, was the pain pulsing through my arm. I let out a huge gasp as I gently placed my cool fingers on the burn. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door. I threw the lighter into my closet and quickly stood up and pulled my sleeve down. Oh how the rough fabric of my flannel shirt rubbed against the burn. I choked back tears.

"Bella? Are you awake?" I looked out my window and realized that the sun had come up and I had wasted time and had not gone to sleep once. I walked over to my door, unlocked it and peaked through to see a very exhausted Charlie.

"Yeah I'm up dad. I'll be down in a minute," Charlie shook his head and walked down the stairs. I sighed and shut the door, sliding down it as I did. I was such an idiot. I was beginning to feel what love really felt like and I had to do something like this? I was just praying, hoping that no one would find out. Especially Edward.


	10. A Lie Too Far

I had gotten through the next few weeks without Edward or anyone noticing what I was doing to myself. Everyone seemed completely oblivious. Occasionally I would slip up and wince when Edward touched my arm, which made him confused, but I had gotten by with a lame excuse of working my arms too much so they were a little sore.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked me as I broke out of blank trance and looked up at him. I faked a smile and lifted m head to gently kiss him.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired," I lied. He didn't look reassured. Edward was very hard to convince. He was constantly bugging me about every little thing that I did that hinted I was in pain.

"Bella, I really want you to stop lying to me and just tell me the truth," He said, staring down at me, his grip on my hand loosened. I knew that lying to him was going to get old and soon he was going to get tired of trying to believe me. I sighed. Why did he have to be so damn stubborn?

"There's nothing Edward. Honestly I'm fine, just a little tired," I tried to make my way past by lying again. He shook his head and after a few seconds let go of my hand and stood up.

"I'm tired of this Bella. You can't just lie to me and expect me to let it go every time," He looked down at me.

"I have to go," He quietly said and began walking to the front door of my house. I had to react fast.

"Wait! I want to know one thing," He stopped and turned back to me.

"And what's that?"

"Why did you kiss me like you did? I mean our first kiss?" We stood quiet and still for a few moments.

"Bella, I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You were different from other girls and I knew that. I knew that you were the one I wanted and I wanted you to know that. I kissed you like that to show you. It's more effective to show then to say it," Without another word he left. I stood frozen. He loved me? I knew I loved him but I didn't know that he had the same feelings for me, and I had been sitting by lying to him, keeping this secret from him when all he did was love me. How could I be so selfish? I was hurting him by hurting myself. I just hadn't realized it until now. I knew I had to tell him, but how? I couldn't just go up to him and say I've been burning myself every night and keeping it from you. That just seemed too hard. What was I supposed to do?

"Hey Bells," My dad greeted as he walked through the door and removed his coat and placed it on the coat rack by the door.

"Bella? Did you hear me?" He asked, noticing my frozen stance. I looked away from the door and glanced at him.

"Yeah I heard you," I couldn't stand talking to my dad anymore. After I had gotten expelled he had begun acting different and I couldn't stand it. I turned around and ran up the stairs, ignoring my dad's calls. I slammed my door shut and locked it, also placing a chair in front of it. I threw everything out of the top drawer until my eyes found the little green lighter. Almost all the fluid was gone. I picked it up and examined it, turning it over in my hands. I was hurting Edward. I couldn't let it happen anymore.

"_Do it,"_ The voice was ringing through my head. It was _his_ voice. The voice of my every fear. The voice that took everything from me. I covered my ears.

"Go away," I whispered under my breath. It continued.

"Go away!" I screamed. It was persistent. There was only one way to stop it. I quickly lit the lighter and placed it against my cold arm and ran it up and down, biting my lip harder each time to stop the screaming. I could feel the blood on my lip. I dropped the lighter and let out a huge breath. I looked down at my arm. It was completely burned and now it was even bleeding. Suddenly a towel was wrapped around my arm. I looked up quickly. Edward.


	11. Confession

Edward's face was filled with emotion. He looked angry but sad and confused at the same time.

"Edward, how did you get in here?" I asked frantically. He just stood there, his eyes locked with my mine.

"How about you explain to me what the fuck you were doing!" He shouted. I cringed. I had never heard him yell like that before. His voice had an unusual force in it. I removed the towel and gazed upon the pain I had unleashed upon Edward. He was never supposed to find out.

"I can't explain," I said quietly. Edward shook his head and stepped back, his face heated. He looked crazed.

"Are you alright?" I asked him. I took a step towards him but he plugged his nose and held up his hand to stop me. I immediately did so.

"Don't come near me. You've done enough," I put my head down in disappointment. How could I have done this to him?

"Why are you holding your nose?" I now just realized. Edward stepped further back.

"You're not the only one who can keep secrets," He replied under his breath. Tears were beginning to form in my eyes.

"Edward I'm sorry," I tried to say more but the tears caught me off guard.

"No Bella. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I caused you this much pain that you had to sink to this to handle it. Next time though, why don't you just break up with me?" I shook my head violently.

"No Edward! It's not you! You have nothing to do with it! I'm…I'm just stupid! I'm a stupid teenager okay!"

"That doesn't excuse anything!" He roared. He removed his hand from his nose and glared at me but kept his distance still.

"I'm not your father! You can't use that teenage excuse on me, especially something like this!" I was so busy crying and yelling at Edward that I hadn't realized the faint feeling I was beginning to get. My vision became blurry and everything was out of focus. My arm went numb. I stumbled back. Edward must have noticed because he was soon behind me, pushing me up. It must have been my blurry vision because I had not seen Edward move at all.

"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked, concern flooding his voice. I nodded my head.

"Don't continue to lie to me. Tell me the truth, are you alright?" I gave up the act. I let myself fall into his arms and he lifted me.

"I…I can't feel my arm," Edward tightened his hold on me and soon cold air was whipping against my skin. My stomach began to turn.

"Keep your eyes close," The last words I heard from Edward before I slowly drifted off.

My eyes lifted open slowly, revealing a plain white wall in front of me. I could hear the beeping of a heart monitor next to me. I looked down at my good arm and I noticed the IV.

"Bella?" Edward's voice quickly echoed through my ears. His hand was soon on mine. His cold skin felt reassuring and safe. I looked up to see his beautiful gold eyes gazing down upon me.

"Edward? What happened?"

"You went into shock because of your arm," He sounded hurt. I began fiddling with the IV, trying to take it out. His hand stopped mine.

"Stop fussing Bella, you're going to hurt yourself…again," He fell silent on the last word.

"Edward please, I'm sorry for what I did but please just listen to me," He looked away as the doctor walked in. He backed away and walked to the little chair in the corner and sat down.

"Good morning Bella, how are you feeling?" The doctor asked, scanning the heart monitor and looking under the bandage at my burned arm.

"Fine," I simply replied, my eyes still locked on Edward.

"Well, your arm looks pretty damaged but your heart seems to be fine. I think a few days in recovery and you will be just fine," He smiled and then walked out, leaving me once again alone with Edward.

"Can we talk now?" I asked. He didn't move or say anything.

"The reason I did all of this was because the voice in my head wouldn't go away. It wasn't because of you,"

"What voice?" I closed my eyes. I never wanted to tell Edward what I had been through.

"The voice of the man who…who raped me," All I heard was heavy breathing. I opened my eyes slowly and looked over at Edward. His hands were clenched in fists and his eyes were once again crazed.

"Edward?" I said his name as soft as I could. I didn't want to anger him anymore then he already was.

"Who?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"I don't know," I responded turning on my side. Edward's hand rested on my shoulder.

"Bella? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling at you without understanding why you were doing such things, please talk to me," I took my hand and grabbed Edward's. I pulled him closer, forcing him to lay down next to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me in. I let myself relax and I began crying thinking back to that night.

"Bella, I love you and nothing bad will ever happen to you again…I promise," I slowly fell asleep in Edward's arms. And for once, there were no nightmares, just thoughts of Edward.


	12. Vampiars & Love

A perfect night with no nightmares, not even a hint of _his_ voice. I rolled on my side and opened my eyes to reveal Edward lying there perfectly content with his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Good morning sweetheart," He greeted me, pushing a loose strand of hair out of my eyes.

"How long have you been here?" I asked yawning.

"Since last night, I haven't left even for a minute," I shivered. I had forgotten how cold Edward was. He quickly removed his arms from around me.

"Sorry," He quietly said as he got up from the bed and pulled a chair over next to it.

"No, it's okay," I said sitting up against my pillows. Edward was staring at me intently. He looked sad almost.

"What's wrong?" I questioned his expression. He shook his head.

"I hate how I can't hold you without making you cold, it's just not right," He looked down at the floor. I could tell there was more. He was hiding something and I needed to know what it was. I placed my hand on his and tried to reassure him with a smile. A little hard when you're sitting in a hospital bed with a badly burned arm.

"Edward what is it? Please tell me," He looked up but I could tell he was staring at the wall behind me.

"I can't Bella,"

"You told me not to lie to you or keep things from you, so how is this fair at all?" I tried to coax it out of him.

"This is different," He added sternly.

"How exactly?" I continued.

"I'm not hurting myself," He said simply. I removed my hand and crossed my arms.

"I'm sorry Bella but what I'm not telling you is keeping you safe," I shook my head.

"You're a jerk sometimes," I told him. He sighed and stood up.

"Sorry you feel that way," He sounded even more upset. Great what a wonderful girlfriend I was. I was being so stupid about all of this. Who was I to question Edward? He had never let me down before.

"Edward I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Please, just tell me what you're thinking about," He stood still, his back towards me.

"Bella, if I tell you I risk your life and I couldn't stand putting you in danger," That was it. If my life was involved I needed to know. I struggled to get up. Edward turned quickly around and pushed me back against the pillows gently.

"Why are you always so careful with me? I'm not a porcelain doll you know,"

"To me you are," I rolled my eyes.

"Bella please you have to understand, it's important you don't know," I huffed annoyed. He threw his head back in defeat.

"Fine, you'll get your way Bella, but you will never look at me the same way ever again. You may never want to see me ever again," I smiled.

"That could never happen," He took a deep breath and grabbed my hand placing it over his heart. Weird, I couldn't feel anything.

"What's this got to do with anything?" I asked looking confused. He bent down placing his cold lips next to my ear. I waited for a few minuets.

"Bella I'm a….a vampire," My breathing stopped short and my eyes widened. Vampire? Was this some kind of joke? Vampires weren't real. He backed away slowly. As much as I didn't want to believe it, something in his expression made me think otherwise. I shook my head in disbelief.

"That can't be true," I said. He just stared down at me.

"Edward?"

"I have no heart beat Bella, I don't eat, my skin is cold; basically I'm not alive," I became short of breath. He looked worried.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'll leave you alone," He began walking towards the door. Before I knew what I was doing I had pulled out the IV and all the other shit I had connected to me and ran towards him. He opened his arms when he saw me running towards him. I threw my arms around his neck, ignoring the pain hat was piercing through my left arm and kissed him. I kissed him with more passion then I had ever kissed him with before. I didn't care what he was or anything else. All I knew was I loved him and I would for the rest of my life.


End file.
